Why Are You Revolving The World Around You?

Ego.

The only ingredient in your life that poisons everyone around you first, and then slowly turns its bitterness inward. Not the ego that protects Self Respect, but that Ego which doesn't let you apologize for your mistakes, that Ego which pushes you to rewrite the story until you look flawless, or yet that Ego through which you give yourself the permission to gaslight others just to avoid confronting what hurts inside.

Everyone has insecurities.

But when accepting them becomes too painful, when hiding them becomes your primary mission, that's when the trouble begins. When instead of working on yourself, you prefer pulling others down. When instead of teaming up, you start obsessively finding "i" in your team. That, for me, is an egotistic life.

On the flip side, people pleasing isn't good either.

You still have insecurities, only now you hide them by pleasing others instead of pulling them down. And in some cases, the results still end up looking the same. The urge to be liked, the fear of rejection, the disappointment when you do not receive the returns you seek, you still end up bitter, isolated, and turned against yourself.

For me, both are tragic ways to live.

Excess of everything is harmful. When insulin is too high, the body has plenty of energy but cannot use it, cells experience starvation despite abundance. When hunger is extreme, there is simply no energy to give and cells starve because there is nothing there. Two opposite causes, one identical result: deprivation. The same holds for the psyche. Excessive ego or excessive lack of ego, both starve the self. One traps your worth behind walls of pride, the other drains it through absence.

So the middle ground is obviously, well, in the middle.

And the ability to step back, notice your own patterns and reflect on who you are becoming, is the closest thing we have to a reset button.